Parenting Advice

Toilet Training – Tips to Help Your Child Become Diaper Free

A huge marker of independence for a child is learning to use the toilet. Developmentally, this usually takes place between age 2 and 3, though some children master this skill sooner and some take a little longer.  It is important to wait until your child is ready to begin training, otherwise the process is frustrating and disappointing for all involved. Many children will become comfortable urinating in the toilet but will continue to refuse to have a bowel movement there until later.  

There are many things parents can do to help their child be ready for and succeed at toilet training. 

Have a potty chair.

If possible, buy a floor-level potty chair for a child. The child’s feet should be resting naturally on the floor while sitting on the potty – this promotes a more natural position and often can help avoid fears of falling in or off of the toilet. It is also a “special place” just for the child, which makes them more likely to be excited about sitting on and using the potty. 

Encourage practice runs to the potty. 

This involves encouraging your child to walk independently to the potty and sit there with diapers or pants off. Only do practice runs when your child gives a signal that looks promising, such as grunting, holding the genital area, squatting, etc. Never force your child to sit on the potty. It may be helpful to have a “potty box” nearby, with books that are only used while sitting on the potty to distract your child.

Praise or reward your child for cooperation or any success.  

Encouragement for practice potty runs are important. If your child urinates into the potty, reward with treats (such as animal crackers) or stickers, as well as praise, smiles, and hugs. 

Change your child quickly after accidents. 

Accidents are going to happen, many times during this process. Respond calmly with phrases like, “You’ll get better at this, I know it’s hard to go in the potty sometimes.” Avoid punishment, yelling, or scolding. Pressure or force can make a child completely uncooperative and will make the entire process last longer.

Introduce underpants after your child starts using the potty. 

Regular underwear can spark motivation in a child. Switch from diapers to underpants after your child is cooperative about sitting on the potty and passes urine into the toilet spontaneously 10 or more times. Take your child with you to pick out the “big kid” underwear and make it a reward for successes. Once you start using underpants, use diapers only for naps, bedtime, and time spent outside the home.

Plan a “naked potty training boot camp” weekend. 

If your child is older than 30 months and has successfully used the potty a few times with your help and clearly understands the process, commit a weekend exclusively to toilet training. This can usually lead to a breakthrough in the process. Avoid interruptions or distractions. The “naked potty training” or “bare bottom” technique means not wearing any diapers, pull-ups, or clothing below the waist. This causes most children to become acutely aware of their body’s plumbing. Children innately dislike pee or poop running down their legs, and usually will not go with nothing on their bottoms to catch it. Stay near the potty, and frequently encourage your child to go. Create a frequent need to urinate by giving your child lots of fluids. Make sure to give lots of praise for successes!

One last note on bowel movements and constipation. As I mentioned earlier, many children master urination but are resistant with bowel movements. If persistent, this can lead to withholding, constipation, and pain with passing bowel movements…which leads to further withholding, worsening constipation, and increasing pain. Make sure your child is getting enough fluids and fiber in the diet to help prevent constipation, but if you have concerns about your child please contact his or her doctor for help with tips, tricks, and even short-term courses of medications to keep bowel movements soft. 

Further resources: 

Healthychildren.org: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/toilet-training/Pages/default.aspx

AAP Guide to Toilet Training (book)


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